What’s the secret to staying head-over-heels in love for the long haul? There are no secrets. I’ve asked many couples across this country about their longevity. Some answers are the same, however most of the answers are different. It’s about what works for you and being able to communicate that. I believe the following strategies to preserve (or improve) your bond:
Openness in all communications between both partners.
Engaging in open communication — i.e., talking about your feelings and encouraging your partner to do the same. Openness define as “conversational self-disclosure” between both partners. During relationship initiation, openness could mean disclosing personal information about yourself or being supportive when your partner does. For couples who have been together for years, it may mean talking about how the relationship has changed.
Approaching every issue from a place of positivity.
The idea that a cheerful smile or playful jab trumps an exasperated sigh is actually true. Rather than saying, ‘I don’t understand why it’s so difficult to put the toothpaste cap back on,’ take a fun or silly approach by putting a sticky note by the toothpaste that says, “Help! I’ve lost my cap.” It’s the playful approach and the positivity in your tone that makes a difference in how your partner perceives your actions. Having a positive outlook helps.
Mutual assurances about spending the future together.
Couples who aren’t married still appreciate knowing their relationship has staying power. Assurance means inspiring confidence in your partner that you’re going to stick around, make plans together. If you plan a vacation, you’re basically indicating that you’re not going to run away between now and when that trip will occur.
Equable division of household chores both partners can agree on.
Although divvying up household responsibilities mostly affects couples who live together, those who plan to cohabitate in the future should discuss what they think is fair when it comes to doing dishes and taking out the trash. Each partner’s perception of this strategy is important to his or her satisfaction and to the quality of the relationship.
Nurturing a shared social network.
Your brother-in-law may be the most annoying person you know, but inviting him to dinner shows that you still care — and that’s a gesture that’s more thoughtful than even the biggest bouquet of roses. Calling your partner’s in-laws, inviting his or her coworkers to dinner or asking family members for gift suggestions for your honey are all good ways to integrate your social lives.
Appreciating your partner’s efforts to keep the relationship going strong is essential.
Appreciating your partner’s efforts is essential for maintaining a happy relationship. Seeing your partner devote the time and energy to making these efforts may have even stronger positive effects than doing them yourself would. If I see my partner doing positive things, it makes me feel better and more committed to the relationship.
I’m Hitch
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Relationship Minute 